Stop It

Whilst reading my daily section of the Science of Mind Book by Ernest Holmes I came across a quote that really resonated with me at this moment in time.

“And it is a law that the man who sees what he wants to see, regardless of what appears, will someday experience in the outer what he has so faithfully seen in the within”.

What we think, believe and feel becomes our reality.  By this I mean if you think, believe and give true feeling to any negative or positive ideas then eventually that will become your reality.  If you truly believe that you are not deserving of all good, then no good will come your way.  If you truly believe that you are deserving and worthy of all good then all good will come into your life.  Make sense?

For example.  I have recently realised a deep seated hidden old belief that eventually I will be rejected by people for whatever reason.  And one by one over the years that became my reality.  We go to a place of blame for a while because it gives us comfort that we were right and they were wrong.  When in fact unknowingly I had set this turn of events in motion a long time ago with my hidden beliefs that everyone would eventually get fed up of me or just leave my life.  So where did this hidden belief and feeling come from?

I needed to do some investigating and inner soul truth searching.

I started by making a time line list of all the people I had felt had deserted me leaving me feeling rejected and not a worthy friend.  It was interesting who came up.  As I worked my way back I could now finally see a pattern that had started to form over the years.  There is no blame here to place.  I wasn’t even aware of this inner belief and feeling that I would be rejected and when I was I began to feel unloved, let down, and lose my trust in people and most importantly myself.  I began to doubt me as a person and as a friend.  When I look back I can see a few moments in time when I knew that something wasn’t right with a relationship or friendship. I wouldn’t voice my concerns over the fear of losing that person from my life.

To date I have been able to go back in time and pin point the age when my perception started to change and plant the seed for it becoming my new reality which lasted for 25 years or more.  The experience concerned happened when I was around 12 years old.  Something happened at that at the time and I was not aware of all the details and the details are not relevant here today.  What is relevant was my perception of being close to this person and being an only child looking up to them as a sibling and then that “sibling” just disappearing from my life.(this I found out later was not entirely their choice and this experience has left scars on them too).  They were only a child, so again no blame just a hell of a lot of confusion and feeling rejected.  This set in motion a belief in me that eventually people would leave me.  So over the years I unknowingly tried to buy peoples love, affection and especially loyalty.  This of course didn’t work.  I still had the hidden belief that everyone would leave me and looking back I had done a really good job of sabotaging each of those friendships and relationships to make that belief become my reality, just so I could say “told me so”.

Now with new eyes to see all that has passed, I can rectify this old belief.  I can now reprogram my beliefs about me and relationships with people.  But how?

Recognising the hidden belief was the first part of the journey.  Just by acknowledging past feelings and patterns something in me shifted,  I had a new inner awareness and understanding.  The inner journey continued by journaling what I had felt and rewriting my new beliefs about me and the kind of relationships I now wanted to have in my life.  I began to see which current relationships I had with people were still representing the unhealthy pattern I had caused over the years.  So this had to change and gently I started to remove myself from these self-sabotaging friendships.  It got lonely there for a while I will admit but I could see that I was released of anxiety and guilt worrying over those relationships and that in turn had a positive effect on my life physically, mentally and spiritually.

Now in this present day I am starting to build healthy relationships with like-minded people and who except me for who I am.  I never take a friendship for granted and try to show gratitude from my heart for their love but never to buy their love.  If they choose to move themselves away from me, I realise that there is nothing I can do about it.  Unlike before I took it as a personal rejection I now see it as they need to do what is best for them and that it isn’t all about me.  They have to honour themselves first before me or anyone else and if that means I am not right for them in their lives I accept that and hope they continue their journey for their highest good as I am doing so.

Going back to my original quote –

“And it is a law that the man who sees what he wants to see, regardless of what appears, will someday experience in the outer what he has so faithfully seen in the within”.

Can you now start to see how our perception of things and our hidden negative beliefs bring exactly that experience to us.  By changing your beliefs to positive and healthy you now are recreating your reality.  Life is short so make sure you choose the reality that is in line with your truth and highest good.

And so it is.

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